bear_in_spanish

01:05 am: Earlier today I decided to get off my but and look for a J-O-B. I'm thinking about applying for the computer lab on campus. Computers aren't my best friend and I usually fuck them up even further than they already are. But I'm desperate, DAMMIT ! The pay isn't that good, either. It's about $7 an hour, which is almost slave labor. But how else am I going to be able to pay for all the shit that I want to get but don't really need, strip?

10:31 am: I've been thinking, am I allowed to say anything if my roomy doesn't take any showers??? Everyday, the smell seems to be getting worse. One day I look over at my sleeping roomy and the bottom of his feet were pitch black, kinda like adam sandler's foot was in the movie Mr. Deeds.

12:36 pm: presentation today
I'm literally having a panic attack over this first project. I have presentation today and I have to convince all these retards that I can tell a story through my drawings. I feel safe to say that I'm stuck with a bunch of retarded students with the exception of just a few who I think are cool. I'm trying not to think of what I'm going to say when I'm up on stage because the more I think about it, the more anxiety I feel. Well guys, wish me luck and hope that these retards buy my story.

10:56 pm: So I'm at the studio doin' time. I swear I'm one remark away from saying "to hell with this" and shooting my instructors for making me stay here.

11:12 am: Quote Of The Day
"So many Mexicans have the same names that they should have 2 middle names to differentiate one from the other."

12:02 pm: dorm life
I bought my first computer yesterday. It's an apple macbook and it is awesome. I'm really excited that school started, and I'm really stoked about living the dorm life. Last night my roomy came back drunk as all hell. We briefly talked and some of my friends got caught by the R.A.,and were fined plus they have to write an essay about why they shouldn't drink at school. And so the adventures begin...

08:55 am: I'm starting school in about a week. I'm actually looking forward to being late, not doing my homework and being reprimanded for criticizing the way an instructor chooses to teach during class time. This takes me back during my internship over at City Hall, where I sometimes chose not to show up for work every other week to enjoy a mini vacation, or not doing what I was asked to do by my 'soup'. But I'm looking forward to meeting new people on campus and hyper-analyzing their existence.

12:31 pm:

  
This is me sitting on a golf cart and riding with a bunch of people on a golf cart. What you don' t know is that the little machine only holds about 4 people, there were 8 of us riding in a car. I took the picture thinking that it was going to show me hanging off the truck but the camera was too close. 

Here are a couple of pictures that I took that thought were pretty interesting. Take a look: 
   + = 

10:30 am: I finally took my girlfriend out to dinner with my family. We had thai food somewhere in downtown Los Angeles. The place was called OCHA (something something). The food was really good however, it was very unusual that the majority of the customers were hispanic, it was really bizarre. In some bizarre way, it felt like home. Anyway, the food was average price, and they gave you a crap-load. I gotta say that the fried won-ton was the best.



I was listening to my new xm radio and I heard that Interpol had a new song. Ummm, I think it was called SUPERSTITION, is that coming out in their new cd, hopefully soon ???

09:42 am: On probation
I suppose that being a recent city employee has its perks. However, today I had the TALK with my boss. I've been missing work rather frequently and I was running out of reasons to not show up. So this morning my boss calls me into her office, basically saying that if I don't straighten up that I will be let go of. I couldn't say that I was in shock (because I wasn't) in fact, I was expecting it. Anyway, I curled my tail in between my legs and apologized, and that's when she lets out that I'm still on probation!

PROBATION??? I've been a city employee or 2 years and I'm expected to be on probation for an internship... That really upsets me. Still, I can't say that I'm in shock (because I'm not) because I was expecting it. Is it that I'm just lazy or tired of working when I SHOULD really be studying.

I failed my last Calc. exam, miserably. I did all the homework and studied the problems that I had the most dificult time with. The problems that I studied hard for were hard to miss on the test. My problem was that I failed to study the easy problems. I shouldn't say that I'm in shock (although I am) but I wasn't expecting that.

09:25 am: I thought this shit was funny, so I decided to post it...

03:42 pm: Neverland Ranch is no more!
I don't believe it, Michael Jackson closes Neverland Ranch!!! Check it out...http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060317/ap_on_en_mu/people_jackson_neverland

03:03 pm: ANY TAKERS ?




Flavor Flav is back and looking for love again in season 2 of, "Flavor of Love"

MILLIONS of people tuned in to see "Flavor of Love" on Vh1 and the original Hip-Hop hype man is still looking for his soul mate.

When you were watching the show did you feel like you would make a better match with Flav? Are you single? This could be you!

Send us your: NAME, PHOTO, NUMBER to jcarollo@51minds.com.

Thanks and good luck!


Job location is Hollywood

Compensation: $100 day + fancy meals, hotel, and transportation

08:58 am: This weekend I went to go see TransAmerica, and I must say that the movie was an awe-inspiring movie.  Felicity Huffman role as "Bree", a pre-op transexual man who is determined to go through surgery to become a real woman, was such a convincing actress that her mannerisms and subtle movements, made me think that she was robbed from an oscar. Sure, Reese Witherspoon, did an awesome job with Joaquin Pheonix in Walk the LIne but I didn't think that she deserved it. Anyway, for those of you who didn't watch TransAmerica, I recommend that you do and you'll also agree that Felicity Hoffman deserved an oscar just the same.

11:30 pm: DAY 3
DAY 3 OF THE DIET IS FINALLY HERE! MY GIRLFRIEND IS VERY DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE SHE GAINED WEIGHT INSTEAD OF LOSING. DON'T ASK ME HOW THAT HAPPENED CAUSE I DON'T KNOW. HOWEVER, I WEIGHED MYSELF TODAY AND I'M 6LBS LIGHTER. SO THERE'S OPTIMISM IN STARVATION. ANYWAY, I'M NOT AS HUNGRY AS I WAS YESTERDAY, PROBABLY BECAUSE MY STOMACH SHRANK. ANYWAY, I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS; DON'T DO THIS DIET UNLESS YOU HAVE A STRONG WILL.

12:39 pm: DAY 2
I just had 6 saltine crackers, and a slice of bread, 1 diet dr.pepper, and water. I must be losing my freakin' mind for trying this diet. Yesterday, for the first time, I had beets. beets. BEETS! I had 1 cup of beets, a cup of string beans, and 3 ounces of chicken. 3 ounces. 3 OUNCES!!! I can't function like this! Everything looks like food to me. And everything that I didn't like to eat, sounds pretty good to me right about now. I'm at work, at the office, trying to take my mind off of food. I can tell you right now that I'm looking forward to the ice cream this evening.

12:25 pm: 21st. century diet
There's a 3 day diet out there for those people that need to shed a few pounds. It's called the 21st. century diet. This is a diet that guarantees that anyone who tries the diet will lose 10lbs. The way it works is that the diet is limited to certain foods that will chemically react to your body, causing wieght loss. I've decided to try this diet with my girlfriend. Although I don't need to lose weight, I figure that I should be supportive. For those that want to try it, here it goes: 

Super diet that's sweeping America

LOSE 40 lbs IN FOUR WEEKS

...it works even better than the cabbage soup diet

It's the diet that's taking American by storm! Call it the fax diet, or the ice cream diet..or just the miracle diet.

Copies of the simple plan have been passed with electronic speed from house to house and office to office. And what's more, you have to go on the diet for only three days--and then revert to normal, sensible eating for four days, before tackling it again.

"It's really miraculous," says New York housewife Jeanette Luba. "I lost 10 lbs. in just three days." Other fans have lost as much as 40 lbs. in a month!

Dietitians STAR spoke to say they have no idea where the diet originated, but they agree that it's not only faster than the cabbage soup diet that swept the country--it's a lot healthier!

The miracle diet works on the chemical break-down of certain foods on the body. It delivers an average of 1,000 calories per day. Remember to follow these guidelines:

1. Consult your doctor before starting the diet.

2. Do not skip meals.

3. Drink four to eight 8 oz. glasses of water daily.

4. Do not add fats when preparing food.

5. This diet should be used for three days--followed by four days of normal eating. You can lost 40 lbs. a month if you stick to it.

Day 1
Breakfast
Half grapefruit
1 slice toast, 2 tbs. peanut butter
Black coffee or tea



Lunch
Half cup tuna, plain
1 slice toast
Black coffee or tea



Dinner
3 slices of any meat (4-6 oz. before cooking)
1 cup of string beans
1 cup beets
1 small apple
1 cup vanilla ice cream (Must be Healthy Choice or any other low-fat ice cream)



Day 2


Breakfast
1 egg
Half banana
1 slice toast
Black coffee or tea



Lunch
1 cup cottage cheese
6 Saltine crackers



Dinner
2 hot dogs
1 cup broccoli
Half cup carrots
Half banana
Half cup vanilla ice cream (Healthy Choice)



Day 3


Breakfast
5 Saltine crackers
1 slice cheddar cheese
1 small apple
Black coffee or tea



Lunch
1 hard-boiled egg
1 slice toast



Dinner
1 cup of tuna, plain
1 cup beets
1 cup cauliflower
Half cantaloupe
Half cup vanilla ice cream (Healthy Choice)


Important: do not vary any of the above foods. And yes, low-fat vanilla ice cream is an important part of each day on this diet!

09:31 am: WHAT THE FUCK?
I've just been a witness to an outrageous predicament. I'm at The Office working with the other intern. There's nothing really to keep me occupied except for reviewing the work of one of the interims that use to work at the planning department. As I'm working, the other intern finds out that one of her powerpoint presentations is missing. She pointed out that she had worked very hard, and the file was nowhere to be found. AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT ? My director asks me if I deleted her file from her folder. I quickly nodded "no". Even though I felt like I should have said "yes", I did nothing to her cpu or any of her files to have made it disappear. I knew that she felt frustrated, because it took her a couple of days to finish, but "it ain't my fault" that it was accidently deleted by someone else. She went around the office asking even the secretary of  any foul play, no one knew anything. Anyway, I'm sitting in my office with everyone looking at me as if I tried to F*&K her. So, what do I do now ? The other intern is almost positive that it was me, but I didn't do anything to her shit.

12:35 pm: I never understood THE VAPORS lyrics to TURNING JAPANESE until now. After years of singing, and humming the song before I went to bed, I realized that the song was about a guy masterbating himself. Not that there's anything wrong with masterbating, but singing about it without realizing really disturbed me...

I'll never sing that song, again... Well, at least not in public.

04:01 pm: --HELLO, THIS IS (BLANK) AND THANKS FOR SIGNING UP FOR MYFICO SCORE DOT COM. HOW CAN I HELP YOU.
-YES, I WOULD LIKE TO CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION TO MYFICO.
--WHY ?
-BECAUSE YOUR FICO CALCULATORS, OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU DO TO CALCULATE FICO SCORES IS GIVING ME A WRONG SCORE.
--ARE YOU NOT PLEASED WITH YOUR SCORE ?
-NO, IT WON'T GIVE ME ONE.
--LET ME GIVE YOU YOUR SCORE, WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE...
(ONE MINUTE PASSES)
-MY FICO SCORE IS WHAT ?
--689.
-CAN YOU ROUND IT OFF ?
--SURE, THERE YOU GO 690.
-NO, I MEANT ROUND IT OFF TO 700.
(SILENCE)...
--NO. YOU'RE 38% ABOVE THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE BAD FICO SCORES. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
-WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
(SILENCE)...
CLICK!